I’ve been studying hook up apps and dating networks for years. Having spent ample time working in the industry, I know the ins and outs of things. Now, for men and women, hooking up might mean different things. To hook up with someone (in general) it usually means to have a fun night. That may or may not include dinner, drinks, date, kisses, petting or getting down to business. Well, it’s typically because of men’s efforts that a hook up ends with having hot sex. At least this is what people think and it’s actually a misconception.
Women and men may have different definitions when it comes to hooking up, followed by different expectations. While in some cases the expectations can match, most times they are quite different. While you may think that you’ve found the perfect woman to hook up with, the evening can go south pretty quickly. What to expect? How to go about not messing up things?
Fear not, I’ve got some solid tips for you to take in.
I care, that’s who!
What Women Think and What You Musts Know About Hooking Up
This is what I believe to be the best advice for those looking to meet and physically connect at a sexual level, then you need to read this. I’ve covered it all here – trust me on this. I’ll kick things off with the obvious…
Ask what you can expect – seriously just ask
If you are using one of the hookup apps such as Fling.com or Instabang.com or some other popular choice, then the chances of messing up are pretty slim, especially if you are both in it for the same reason – to hook up for a night (or a while with an established booty call). But if you let your thoughts run wild, then you are most definitely going to mess things up. You’ve got to have a strategy and plan in place.
To enhance your chances of hooking up and appear smooth and/or sophisticated, tame your nerves before you start typing. Think about what you are about to say to break the ice. A simple greeting is enough to start the chat and kick things off. But it must be followed by a clear question and not something twisted and annoying. Trust me, any other approach is going to make someone run fast.
The Casual Opening Statement
A casual opener should go something like this: “Hello how’s your day so far? Mine’s OK. I’m here looking to connect with someone for some fun. I’d like to know if you’re interested in having a hookup or someone on the side to have some fun with? If so, maybe we share the same interests and can explore them further…”
This is as clear as it gets. An introduction, clear intentions, straightforward questions, it can’t get any simpler than that. If you are in the mood, you can flirt a little, but nothing overwhelming, just teasing and tasteful, as girls can smell cheesy and desperate from miles away.
Be inventive and creative
After the girl replies to your initial inquiry, you can certainly ask anything you like. Again, keep it simple and straightforward. Add your suggestions and ask if they match with hers, or you can blend your mutual interests. Don’t be boring and lengthy in your discussions. If you are both using a hookup app, then your goals pretty much match, you just have to align your strategies.
Never sacrifice your needs and wants. Sure, you can make slight compromises, but it should never be something that you don’t want to do. Because the ladies can also be very demanding in the field of sexy activities, you need to tell her what you are willing to do and what you are not.
When you have the time, write down some notes about what you would like to try with a potential hook up, and when the time comes, you will know what to ask. Make another note for the things you are not willing to do. Ask and you will get it.
You can go about asking the girl you are looking to hook up with like this: “To let you know, I would very much like to try (your idea here). But also, I’m not keen on experimenting with (your restrictions here). Are you interested in any of this? What are your yays or nays?”
This part concludes the most important aspect of hooking up with someone – setting up the basic rules. If the woman you are speaking to interested in you, she will read carefully through your questions and consider your wants, and answer with her own.
There are no guarantees, and you can still stumble upon a “crazy girl.” But by clearly voicing your desires and restrictions, you have set the stage and at least you are going in prepared. If you have been hooked up casually with someone before, you know the drill, and the rest is just fine tuning between two people.
Wrapping Things Up
Conversating with someone via a hookup app is one thing, meeting them in person another. Whenever you are going to meet the girl in person, be sure that you keep an open mind, but tread lightly with caution e.g. be safe please.
It doesn’t take long to see if the woman is fun or a complete waste of time if she’s into you or just here out of courtesy. Select a local hotel, bar or a coffee shop that is close to home (yours or hers) and invite her for a casual date. If you don’t like each other you both can easily call it a day and part ways. No harm, no foul. If you like each other, pay the check as fast as you can manage, and go straight to business.